When was the last time we laughed so hard that we couldn't even get the sound to the throat? We just laid back on the floor rolling and shrugging our shoulder like an epileptic without making a sound.
When was the last time we found a joke so funny that we kept laughing unable to explain it to our friend, and laughed harder while telling it to them?
When was the last time we cried while watching a tearjerker?
When was the last time we told someone we love them and actually touched their heart by the depth of your words?
The list goes on..
There are so many things I have done which made this life so wonderful and beautiful. Those little tender moments of innocence which I did without any pretension, without any thought about anyone, but just by being myself. But as time passed and I realised I am 'matured' those things slowly got detached from my life. As I learnt to 'behave' myself before the world those unpretencious moments faded away to oblivion.
Today when I realised I hadn't laughed heartily in a while, it suddenly dawned upon me how mechanical my life has become. Life has curved its niche around work, further studies, career and settling down. In the midst of all these big decisions of my life, I just feel the need to stop by and look back what actually have I been missing.
My childhood life was filled with adventurous days and the thrill to explore what lies ahead. Those moments of unpretencious me made me feel 'real' and so life was beautiful. Today when I have lived close to half of my life and know somehow what this life is all about I feel dry and miss the joy of life. Is this what life is supposed to become for everyone who grows up? When people sober down do they miss those little joys of life like I do?
Today I want to laugh so hard that I would pee my pants a little..
I want to savour the taste of the wildberries and taste them like the best thing in the world..
I want to feel the fear of a small kid going to the math class without doing his homework..
I want to feel the adventure of the young me who stole a handful of amul powder and licked it up from under the bed..
I want to feel the excitement of trying my first hand at learning to riding a cycle..
I want to...sighh!
Wednesday 7 December 2011
Saturday 3 December 2011
Pride and Prejudice
''I always knew he was kind of a jerk, just look at the way he talks. Soo arrogant!!'', I hissed eyeballin' at the pg at a safe distance away from me.
"Is it? What else did he do?'', quirped luxmi with the look of a small kid hearing a story. She did look curious indeed.
"Arey, last time i saw him treat his unit interns like a shitbag. I just overheard how bossy he sounded! Gaudd, u should have listened!!'' i whispered back with a tensed eyebrow leaning bit towards her, making sure no one else heard it.
"hmmm'',..she nodded with an indifferent look on her face.
''But what makes you come to this conclusion, only for that particular instance?'', she sounded little incredulous,''even we turn mean at times, don't we?'' she added.
"Noo,that's not just it, I heard he has the same behaviour even in his own unit, as if he's the boss. One of my senior said he also got a taste of his arrogance last time during the emergency. He got angry and they almost had a fight'', I tried sounding convincing eventhough I wasn't so convinced at those news myself. Atleast there will be some truth in it, if not all. And when you are trying to prove your point then.. 'thoda masala to chalta hai na'.
"Oo..is it?''
''yaa.. these central pgs are really arrogant. They don't know nothing about practical things.but act like they know everything. They may be good at theory but that's it. Someone should teach them to be humble!!'',I was xpewing negztivity at my very best. Somehow the cynical me was jubiliant inside having got the approval of her. I was successful in proving my point.
Just then Ritchie came in after his ward round,''So whats the discussion about?''
"you see that central pg over there? No not the tall one the one holding the file..yah yah..'' And so I started again..
How many times have we made a prejudiced comment about someone just for the sake of getting a hot gossip? The satisfaction of having convinced someone of what we think
and to get ears from those around you sometimes drives us to say some trash stuffs about some one we have long been having a grudge against. The worse part is that we tend to make up things or add things that may well spice up things but sadly end up denigrating the person's reputation. I wasn't like that before. When and how did I ever start talking trash about people like that. I have thought about it becos long after my banter is over when m alone, my own words haunt me adding burdens on my already piling up guilty trash. But in solitude i realise that just like the St.Augustine's pears my deeds are irreversible however hard i may try reversing it.
I realised that the taste of talking trash and backbiting others came subtly by hearing some of the people around me doin it.I didnt subscribe to it at first, but as I kept being in their company I started enjoying it and the seed took root from there. With my every nod and hmms I was watering the seed and finally when I started giving my own prejudiced inputs I started enjoying it and long before I realised, the seed had a borne its fruit.
Let me not preach a sermon here with 'we should' and 'we ought tos' but hope this reading bring out a consciousness of this despicable habit that becomes a part of our personality without we even knowing it. Be safe:)
"Is it? What else did he do?'', quirped luxmi with the look of a small kid hearing a story. She did look curious indeed.
"Arey, last time i saw him treat his unit interns like a shitbag. I just overheard how bossy he sounded! Gaudd, u should have listened!!'' i whispered back with a tensed eyebrow leaning bit towards her, making sure no one else heard it.
"hmmm'',..she nodded with an indifferent look on her face.
''But what makes you come to this conclusion, only for that particular instance?'', she sounded little incredulous,''even we turn mean at times, don't we?'' she added.
"Noo,that's not just it, I heard he has the same behaviour even in his own unit, as if he's the boss. One of my senior said he also got a taste of his arrogance last time during the emergency. He got angry and they almost had a fight'', I tried sounding convincing eventhough I wasn't so convinced at those news myself. Atleast there will be some truth in it, if not all. And when you are trying to prove your point then.. 'thoda masala to chalta hai na'.
"Oo..is it?''
''yaa.. these central pgs are really arrogant. They don't know nothing about practical things.but act like they know everything. They may be good at theory but that's it. Someone should teach them to be humble!!'',I was xpewing negztivity at my very best. Somehow the cynical me was jubiliant inside having got the approval of her. I was successful in proving my point.
Just then Ritchie came in after his ward round,''So whats the discussion about?''
"you see that central pg over there? No not the tall one the one holding the file..yah yah..'' And so I started again..
How many times have we made a prejudiced comment about someone just for the sake of getting a hot gossip? The satisfaction of having convinced someone of what we think
and to get ears from those around you sometimes drives us to say some trash stuffs about some one we have long been having a grudge against. The worse part is that we tend to make up things or add things that may well spice up things but sadly end up denigrating the person's reputation. I wasn't like that before. When and how did I ever start talking trash about people like that. I have thought about it becos long after my banter is over when m alone, my own words haunt me adding burdens on my already piling up guilty trash. But in solitude i realise that just like the St.Augustine's pears my deeds are irreversible however hard i may try reversing it.
I realised that the taste of talking trash and backbiting others came subtly by hearing some of the people around me doin it.I didnt subscribe to it at first, but as I kept being in their company I started enjoying it and the seed took root from there. With my every nod and hmms I was watering the seed and finally when I started giving my own prejudiced inputs I started enjoying it and long before I realised, the seed had a borne its fruit.
Let me not preach a sermon here with 'we should' and 'we ought tos' but hope this reading bring out a consciousness of this despicable habit that becomes a part of our personality without we even knowing it. Be safe:)
The Mud Throwing Game!
We judge others based on the standard we have made for ourselves. If they dont fit into the spectrum of moral values that suit us we tend to misjudge them as disagreeable people. We do this unaware of the fact that we are being scrutinised with the same eyes by others whose moral spectrum may be different from the standard and principle that govern us. As George Carlin aptly puts it, its like you are driving through a highway and the cars that you crossby are too clumsy whereas the cars overtaking you are too rash.
I see this attitude in the Christian circle rampantly. We Christian are so involved in interdenominational prejudice that it seems we forget we are worshipping the same God. I have come across so called 'mature' christians who just loooove judging others. The downfall of a Christian brother makes them so vocal about the wretchedness of the person in the name of 'prayer requests' and in addition gets a chance to advertise their own piety in saintly jargons. The prayer request time should not become a gossip time for judging the fallen brothers.
"Catholics are nothing but a glorified cult cos they focus more on the divinity of pope and Mother Mary'',I heard the Baptists say.
"Baptists are nothing but a bunch of corrupt politicians focussed more about church administrations and portpolios",I heard the catholics say.
"The Pentecostals are nothing but a dangerous cult trying to mislead people with too much emphasis on glossolallia,"I heard the others belittling the denomination.
"Seventh day adventists focus less on worshipping God and more about what to eat and what not."
The Pentecostals, say," We are the only true worshippers of God cos we have been baptised in the Holy Spirit, while the others just with water"
..Will there be any end to this mud throwing game?
K let me just end here and let your mind ruminate on the rest of the thought.
I see this attitude in the Christian circle rampantly. We Christian are so involved in interdenominational prejudice that it seems we forget we are worshipping the same God. I have come across so called 'mature' christians who just loooove judging others. The downfall of a Christian brother makes them so vocal about the wretchedness of the person in the name of 'prayer requests' and in addition gets a chance to advertise their own piety in saintly jargons. The prayer request time should not become a gossip time for judging the fallen brothers.
"Catholics are nothing but a glorified cult cos they focus more on the divinity of pope and Mother Mary'',I heard the Baptists say.
"Baptists are nothing but a bunch of corrupt politicians focussed more about church administrations and portpolios",I heard the catholics say.
"The Pentecostals are nothing but a dangerous cult trying to mislead people with too much emphasis on glossolallia,"I heard the others belittling the denomination.
"Seventh day adventists focus less on worshipping God and more about what to eat and what not."
The Pentecostals, say," We are the only true worshippers of God cos we have been baptised in the Holy Spirit, while the others just with water"
..Will there be any end to this mud throwing game?
K let me just end here and let your mind ruminate on the rest of the thought.
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